Proud Breeder

This is Princess and W. She is a day old. The red on the baby goats is not blood it is iodine. An infection can enter the umblical cord unless you dip the cord in iodine. There is an iodine cup, but we never bought one. And Rex was the only goat that would jump when we dipped it. Princess never did, she is a princess. I adored her as a baby and I still do. She is more tame than most females, she hops up in the cage if I tell her to. I love this picture of W, he had worked for years to become a goat breeder.

Goat Breeding

This is W and Rex. He is checking out his mouth. There are breeding indications that help a goat eat, so he wanted to see if Rex had the right shape of a mouth. W is the breeder, we have attended many workshops on breeding goats. He does goat presentations in the local Ag in a Classroom on goats. This was his very first baby to be born with him as the breeder.

Faith and her babies

This is Faith, our Queen bee of a goat. She had two babies Rex and Princess. I will take a current picture of Princess. I just love Faith. She is a good goat and a good mom. She gave birth on a very cold day last January. The wood looking thing is actually tin that has a wood pattern on it. We had to enclose them to keep them warm. The shavings are extra in that you normally don't use shavings. It was so cold we had to keep all three of them warm. When Faith left this pen she went to a larger pen with the rest of the breeding goats. I was worried she would not fit in. She is a lead goat, and she had pushed her way into that pen and everyone of the other goats did what she said. Faith has the most beautiful walk. She is 7/8 Boer and 1/8 Nubian. She took care of those babies so well I couldn't have done better. They were about 5 hours old here.

Rep. Gattis and TD 6/2006

This is State Rep. Dan Gattis and TD at the Texas Republican Convention. TD was a page. Rep. Gattis or Dan as I call him is an Aggie through and through. He was in the Corp. TD bonded with Dan a long time ago when they first met. Dan and our yellow lab look exactly alike. They both love the land and Texas. TD has grown since this picture, but Dan is tall so I doubt TD is as tall as Dan. My respect for Dan is about his values and his words. He tells me his true take on a situation. There have been more times than I would like that he has told me I would not be happy with a certain bill or the reality of what happened in session. I consider Dan an asset to Texas and our family. As is tradition God Bless Dan and God Bless Texas.

TD on Tractor

This is TD at about 18 months. Before this time he had ridden with his dad on the closed cab tractor but this was his first time sitting on one by himself. The beam I see here is the same one I see when he talks about them today. He has loved engines since he could talk, but the tractors are what he adores most. We tried in vane for him to change his interest and move to another engine or interest. Every time I think about him doing something else, I remember this day and how excited he was. I also recall the nights I would pull him from the cab tractor, his dad would be plowing and was asleep on a pillow in the cab. He was kick and scream. He would cry and beg me not to take him home. In a blink of an eye this little boy has shot up and is getting ready to leave home for the first time.

Darryl Royal and Emory Bellard

Those names are legends in football. And yet to me they are real people I watched coach the game from my earliest memory of a game. My oldest brother played for San Angelo Central with Emory Bellard as the coach. Many football fans have never heard his name. Others know exactly how talented he was. Emory invented the wishbone. His closest friend in football was Darryl Royal. My brother was a fantastic player. He had size, quickness and strength. He loves the game to this day. Emory Bellard was a coach that liked to experiment with plays, that is how the wishbone was invented. He got the neighborhood kids to see if it would work. One year my brother had a broken leg and the football banquet was that night. Emory would stop at the house all the time for one reason or another. Well this day I remember being a girl, my mom had rollers in her hair. Emory knocked and I opened the door big as day. My mom is never seen without make-up and jewelry, and yet here came Coach Ballard and Coach Royal. At this time Darryl Royal was at Texas winning all the time. My brother was thrilled to see them, and my mom was horrified. Bellard wanted Coach Royal to meet my brother, he would be recruited and Emory wanted him to play for Darryl.

When it came time to go to college my brother had the talent to play but not the interest.

For years to come I would watch both of them coach and remember the day they came and made my mom blush. My younger brother was so mad he was in school when they had come by. He was a baseball player but he loves football as much as we all do.

Emory has a son coaching now, Bob Bellard. Bob coached for several years down at San Angelo Central. He revived the wild uniforms my brother wore called the Wild Bobcat uniforms. When Bob was there he pulled out my brother's picture as an old standard of how to play.#72 is still alive. As a teenager Bob Bellard grew up in Bryan, TX. So when I heard Bob was coming back to Bryan High School as Athletic Director I was elated. Bob had come full circle. His dad coached at Texas A & M and Bob loved Bryan High School. This year Bryan did not do well in football, I am sure Bob is building a powerhouse team though.

Tractor Tech Team

This is the 2007 Houston Livestock Show Tractor Technician Team. TD is in the green shirt, they each won the tool boxes, tools, 4 different hats and a John Deere watch. This team practiced for more than a year. They study for a year before they get compete. Once you win it, you are not eligible to win it again. Mr. Hankie in the yellow shirt has coached more winning teams in Tractor Tech and Agriculture Mechanics than probably any coach in America. He has a gentle teaching way with the kids and they adore him. He has coached several national winning Agriculture Mechanics teams. A scholarship from Wyotech for Diesel Technician also was won by TD. He is unclear if he will take it or not.

http://www99.rodeohouston.com/media/PrintVersion.aspx?id=5505

Gone Fishing

This is an old picture of the boys. It has to be S's first fishing trip at the farm. He had been salt fishing before with his uncle. But he was finally old enough to go with boys. TD I am sure is going to claim the big fish but I honestly think it is S's fish. W caught the one he is holding. There are times my kids look fabulous, but pictures like this is how I remember them. Coming home filthy, but happy as larks they had an afternoon of all play and no work. They have grown up so much since this picture was taken.

Tribute to Brian

On January 27, 2004 I had finally begun to grieve my aunt's death. With the sudden death, traveling to Arlington and helping my mom and brother get through the service. We finally came home Sunday the 25th. Mom talked the entire three hours. Her and Helen were a year apart, and it was like a limb was severed. Her way of coping was to talk, even though before Helen died she never was like that.

Monday was a busy day, the kids were shaken. And as usual I was having some trouble with S's school and his 504. That is another topic completely. Monday at about 11:30 my nephew and his two best friends drove by in Brian's Chevy. Brian was being silly driving like a snake but slowly in front of my house. I remember it was warm, they had the windows rolled down. Brian, Travis and Matt my nephew were in the front seat laughing and honking the horn. I came outside and waved. They turned the corner and went to college class.

Tuesday S had basketball practice, while W had opted not to play basketball that year. So during the day I finally began to cry about losing Aunt Helen. For the first time in 6 days, I was feeling my own personal grief. I missed her in so many ways. I picked up the kids, and was online. I got a call from my girlfriend that there was a car accident downtown. She asked me if I had heard from my brother in law or nephew today. I said, "Of course not they are at work." About ten minutes later she called back, I strangely remember her sounding odd. She mentioned again Matt, then she said Brian was in the accident and did not make it. I write this now because I can recall her saying it now, but at the time I was paddling up the river denial so fast her words would not dawn on me they were real. I kept doing what I was doing. She drove up and S called for me to come to door. She pulled me outside and said, "Listen Kathy Brian and Travis are dead, hit by a train." Suddenly some of it sunk in. I asked was she sure and she said yes. I came inside and got S ready for practice, not mentioning to W or TD. I could not go there, there was basketball practice and obviously I would check on Matt and everyone would be fine.

When I got to the gym, I remember everyone looking upset. They kept referring to Brian and Travis in the past tense. Finally I got mad and asked if they had seen his truck. Brian's dad had put so much iron on it, we all thought Brian would be safe in any accident. They looked at me like I was an idiot, which I must have looked like one. Someone not sure who said they were sure it was Brian's truck. That moment I was still mad, so I went out and called Ben my brother in law. I knew he would be honest with me. He said, "Kathy I am at Travis's parents house, the boys did not make it."

That is when I knew Brian and Travis were dead. Travis I had watched play football but I did not know well at all. Brian had been a baby when I got married. I had watched him grow up, he was the brightest and best kid you could ever hope to have. He was only 17 when he passed away. He lived more in his short life than most people do in a long one. He was tall and lanky. His love for FFA and Agriculture Mechanics was so much a part of his being, many days I would see his figure working on a tractor in his dad's shed. He was an officer in FFA, competed in Tractor Mechanics and Agriculture Mechanics, played football and tennis. He was a member of the FCA and NHS. He had planned to take his prom date to the prom in his tractor. He was my nephew's best friend, his side kick since they were born.

Matthew had just jumped out of the truck. Travis and Brian had taken Matt to work. Brian had bought a guard thing for his truck, he was going to get my brother in law Ben to help him put it on as a surprise for his dad. Matthew was about to clock in. There is a train track between the place where Ben works and Matthew works most of the time. He had not gone inside yet. It was near 5 PM, a silver train carrying passengers to the Superbowl was traveling to Houston. Months later the train speed was clocked at 67 MPH through the crossing. Of course there was no crossing bars. Ben and Matt both saw the train but the boys did not. It left Ben on one side with his son Matt on the other. The train and the debris was between Ben and Matt. Brian and Travis were killed instantly.

Matt and Ben of course had to tell the families what had happened. They also testified in a lawsuit. Matt successfully made the city close the crossing so what happened to them would never happen to anyone else there. For what they saw and endured they are doing well. At first we were worried what would happen to Matt, but he clung to Travis's best friend and healed. Through the first few months he was medicated.

TD has a love for tractors, just as Brian did. Matter of fact the truck we bought TD is exactly like Brian's. I did not know it until TD told me. TD did win state in Tractor Mechanics, a feat Brian never got to finish. Brian's little brother is competing this year, our hope is he will win also.

Our family and town was shaken to it's core with the loss of the boys. Brian was at my house during that Christmas break babysitting. My last memory of he and S was he was hauling S anywhere he wanted to go on his back. W said his last memory was playing football in the yard, Brian would pick him up and let him score against TD and Brian's little brother.

S was so young only 6 when Brian died, that he needed a lot of counseling. He had lost his grandmother a few months before, he had attended Aunt Helen's funeral so when Brian and Travis died death became real. He finally said, "Grandma didn't come back. Aunt Helen didn't come back. This means I will never play with Brian again." At the rosary S circled Brian's casket at the end of the service, like he did not want to let go. I was fortunate at the time his counselor was a mom of child that passed away from cancer at 13. Also a classmate of Brian, Travis and Matt.

Even today there are times I miss Brian, I see his parents and am amazed they are doing so well. TD and his friend go to Brian's grave each year on their anniversary. Next year it will be hard to do so, hopefully he will be okay then. TD will graduate something else Brian and Travis did not finish.

I am sure when TD goes to work at John Deere today he will think fondly of Brian.

Tribute to Aunt Helen

My aunt Helen was a tiny woman that did so much for so many. She was famous in her family and neighborhood of being a bad cook. She could make green bean casserole, so with every crisis and family dinner that is what she made. Her husband John Wayne Palmer was a fantastic cook, so her family did not starve. I only say this because she couldn't cook, but she had so many talents I could write about her for days.

The piano was her greatest talent, she was tiny but her hands could bang out glorious hymns like few on earth could do. She played until her hands lost strength, for her to play she had to be strong as a ox. She taught my brother how to play the guitar, and many kids in her neighborhood. See Aunt Helen was the woman if you needed somebody to hug or love she would do it to many that no one else did.

At 19, she had uterine cancer which left her unable to bare children. She loved kids so that she and John adopted two kids when I was a small girl. She sewed beautiful clothes for both of them. She would beam from ear to ear every time she looked at them.

At 48 she was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer. This was in the seventies. She chose a mastectomy, radiation and a little known procedure called breast reconstruction. Back then it was a brutal operation but effective. She endured treatment like the trooper she was. Her life was never easy but she never gave up. A few years later she felt a small lump on the side of her chest, it was a recurrence of breast cancer. All of her family was so worried, but Aunt Helen said God would be her guide. And yes she had more treatment and surgery. Once again she was cancer free, she then went back to her playing piano at her church every Sunday. Then in the afternoons she would visit the ill people she prayed for so much.

It was during this time her closest friend was diagnosed with cancer, and in a span of six months passed away. But not without knowing Jesus as her Lord and Savior. The friend left two kids on this earth, so Aunt Helen being Helen knew that they would need a place to come. They would come and she taught the boy to play the guitar. Gently she guided the kids to remember what was most important Jesus. That was her gift also, she was a regular evangelist at every turn. There was not a time when we spoke we did not talk scripture or prayer warrior ship.

A few years later Aunt Helen had some rectal bleeding and yet again it was cancer. This time it was her colon. Do I need to write the rest? She went through treatment and yes she recovered. All this time she would still make her green bean casserole for anyone that she felt needed some extra food. The kids of her friend would still stop in and visit with her.

So Aunt Helen finally had her kids grown and they had kids of their own. She took in a granddaughter because her son had turned his daughter out. No matter what Helen loved her family, and it did not matter what anyone did she loved them through the pain. Her granddaughter was pregnant, broke and needed a place to live. All of us could list why Aunt Helen should not take on such a task, but all she saw was her granddaughter in need.

So they lived together and the baby came. Babies brought out a special side of Helen, she coddled every baby I ever saw around her. The granddaughter was working across town without a car, so Aunt Helen took her to work and daycare each day. The traffic was awful, and the day before she died my mom begged her sister to not drive in such an environment. But Helen laughed and said she loved being with her granddaughter at any time.

The next morning Helen was driving both of them through Mansfield, Texas when she was struck by an 18 wheeler. The DPS assured us she died instantly. It was a shock, to say the least.

Being such a survivor you never expect a person to die in an accident. Her funeral was truly a revival. See the little boy that she taught guitar and took so much care of had become a pastor of his flock. He spoke of her loving kindness, her lack of cooking ability, her musical talent and yes her desire for everyone at the funeral to be sure where they were going. I knew Aunt Helen would have loved it. Her oldest child had been reunited with her birth parents, a letter was read that the mother wrote for her gratefulness to Aunt Helen. That not only had she raised Lisa, but she allowed, encouraged and enjoyed her reuniting with her birth parents.

Past her last day Aunt Helen gave everything she could to anyone who needed it. She passed away January 21, 2004.

My cancer Diagnosis

I remember the day very well. I went to Scott and White in College Station to have my yearly mammogram. Normally it was a ten minute process. That is why I went there. Scott and White in Temple takes hours to do. College Station was more private and more intimate. That day I never expected I would need my privacy. Being a daughter of breast cancer survivor as well as a niece of two aunts with breast cancer I knew my risk was high. But you always think you will be the one to be passed by, it won't visit you. Somehow you are superwoman unable to be caught by Cancer.

That March day was very different. I ran to College Station, had planned to eat out, shop and run and pick up kids. I went in and had my mammogram and waited for them to come out and tell me it was okay to go. But this day they did not they came out and wanted another view. Well I superwoman had been through that before, I had dense breasts. Of course they would look and on my way I would go. But this day I got called back yet again. Then I stood there and the tech said I really needed to speak to a radiologist. Superwoman was beginning to wonder perhaps the tech had not been informed I was superwoman. I remember thinking "Oh Crap", I might have said it out loud. The radiologist came in and gently showed me the area of concern, and that I needed a biopsy ASAP. Then it hit me, superwoman was no more. I was just Kathy standing in a room wanting it not to be true. The spot looked just like my mom's, and her spot was cancer.

I began to weaken, not yet cry or tear. They asked if I was alone, and I said yes. They asked if I needed to sit somewhere, all I wanted was out. Somehow you think if you leave fast enough the cancer will be left behind. Now I know none of this logical, I am just saying what most patients feel. Running from the doctor somehow feels like the best thing to do. As I left the room, I noticed there was a back log on mammograms that I had not seen before. They had kept the people from me. I was so grateful for the kindness of the tech and radiologist. They knew I knew I had cancer. It would take weeks to completely diagnosis it but we all knew in that small room what I was facing.

As I changed my clothes I began to tear, I wanted to bawl. Somehow I wanted to go out with my head high, like the Beast (what I call cancer) would see me weak and make my treatment worse.

I drove all the way home, I think I stopped at a drive through for lunch. I called my girlfriend and tried to call my husband but as is normal he was not allowed to answer his phone.

Pancho and Lefty

This is Pancho at 8 months and Lefty at 8 weeks. Lefty is much bigger now but at one time he was tinier than Pancho. They loved to play outside, just like now. Only Lefty is stronger and faster. They are the best of friends, just like family when they do get mad they get over it fast.

The Tractor

This is my husband and the oldest boys. It was taken I would guess about 10 years ago. TD and W to this day still drive that tractor. The song Southern Country Man by Alan Jackson truly describes my husband. His life revolves around the family and the land. He intends to leave this earth having taught our boys more than most men ever dream of teaching anyone. They know everything about farming, cattle and tractors because he took the time. He does have a temper, they did not listen at times. They did break equipment. Our life is normal. But I revel in the normality of it all. Being raised in the burbs, I never even thought I would marry much less to a man that cared about teaching my kids. With the youngest he spends as much time as he can teaching him math, he was born to be a math teacher. All the boys will tell you you work and you learn math, there are no easy off days when you have work to do.

Hammer wants to go

Hammer being Hammer wanted to go anywhere and everywhere we did. This was not his first time in the old minivan that became the goatmobile. It was his second time getting into it fully. I could not raise up the back without him trying to jump in. And yes he jumped on top of the goatmobile so many times we quit counting. To this day he was TD's favorite goat without question. When the time came to ship him, TD was devastated. Life on the farm has to be hard. We can not keep every goat we showed. We still miss Hammer.

S Leading Goats

The Goats followed him everywhere. S has a special way with the goats. He does well in every show. The goats love him. The judges love him. Actually he was working and the goats were supposed to be grazing. They are curious creatures, so where he goes they follow even to the trash pile.

Youngest working Goats

TD showing Hammer

This is an old picture of TD at a goat clinic. I love it because of the way he looks relaxed and happy. He is far bigger and more driven now than this kid. They grow up so fast. Soon he will be gone from our house.

Youngest showing

This is S at the same goat clinic as TD. The best thing about this picture is he is holding his goat wrong. This was a time when he was convinced he needed permission from the goat to walk, and he always held their head like this. He has grown up so much from this picture but I love his innocence in it. Now he is in control, he watches the judges more than the goat.