Fruit Loops and Yogurt

S is 10, he was set in his ways at a very early age. I used to say he was like Grandpa the day he was born. His openness to try new things has never been great, matter of fact he could eat the same lunch everyday for years. He tends to panic if we are low on bread. The beauty of having a child like this is the ease of stocking the kitchen. Routine and sameness are comforting to him.

He has never been heavy, he is a slim kid. Regardless of what he eats, he has regulated his own weight with ease. There are times I wonder why that gene passed me by. I have watched his eating habits carefully to see what I could learn. After all people pay a lot of money to know how to do what S does naturally.

The main thing I have seen is simple. He eats when he is hungry. End of story. He doesn't eat if he is upset or happy. He doesn't eat because there is great food in front of him. He only eats when and if he is hungry. He doesn't eat large or very small portions. I can not serve him, as he says I can't put the right amount of food on his plate when I don't know how much or little he will eat.

The rest of us in the family will eat great food even if we are full. But not S, he is busy when he is busy and hungry when he is hungry. His entire life S and I have run up against people that tried to tell us that S should eat more, or a variety of foods.

My canned answer is S is healthy, and not too thin or heavy. If only I could bottle his self discipline in a bottle I would be rich.

Which brings me to my title S loves cereal in milk for breakfast. But since milk is almost 5.00 a gallon, I have cut back the amount I buy. I stand firm in that if you buy milk and they drink it the calcium is going in their body, it may be too fast but they are getting calcium. We buy cereal in big huge bags, they are cheap and taste good. I buy generic yogurt in quart containers. S had a cereal revelation. One day when milk was gone, and yogurt was smiling at him he combined fruit loops and yogurt for breakfast. Believe me there are twice as many bags of cheerio type cereal on my shelf but in a weak moment I did pick up a bag of fruit loops. And breakfast and S have never been the same.

What frugality has taught me more than anything else is when you have to adapt even for a kid like S you can. If S can change one routine than I change the entire way I look at my budget. What is truly the best parts of my expenses? What is worth paying for and what is a waste of time and money?

From here on out I am taking the way of fruit loops and yogurt. A bit avant garde but a classic combination that has a winning streak all the way to a life worth eating the good stuff.

Memorial for GaGa

GaGa was my friend's mom. She was like a second mom to me. When I would go in her house the first thing I did was get barefoot, I hated the feel of shoes and I loved her long shag carpet. GaGa was not GaGa then but Mrs. Roberts.

I had my favorite chair at her house, her favorites recipes, my favorite thing about her house. It was everything that life in a house should be. My parents marriage was on the rocks, I was adrift for stability. In GaGa's house I had the chair, the carpet and the view. It was heaven on earth, and I couldn't wait to leave. GaGa wanted me to act in every play that existed, her faith in my talent was more faith than I had. I loved her kindness her undying love for me.

I was 16,17 and 18 getting ready for college never thinking I would miss that chair and that view every time I drove to Dallas. Those days are precious to me, I remember her happiness when I would tell her about each play I did at college. No matter what the role, she wanted me to do it.

She came from the Oklahoma Indians, she was beautiful. I loved her opal ring. I would stare at it on her long dark fingers and wonder how she became so confident in everything she did when her husband left her with two small kids. Her life was not easy, but you would never know it when you went to her house. I could eat anything there and not clean a thing.

When she became a grandmother she became GaGa. My kids call her GaGa, today I have a kid home sick trying to go to her visitation and funeral. GaGa was the sweet person to my kids that we would visit as much as we could.

The last time I saw her she told me my favorite chair was in the garage or at her house in Richardson. She wanted me to have it. If I am offered it, I am taking it. I will sit in it and remember all the times we had together.

God Blessed me when I met GaGa.

The Beast

It took somebody else. See the beast takes people everyday. It takes the people you love the most, the ones you thought could beat the beast. I know one day I will see it again, but for today I am sad. I miss her, she was too young to go. I want her back with her kids, hugging their bodies smelling the smell only moms can smell.

I have to live, God has blessed and allowed me to. That is my future to live, until I can no longer. The beast wants to rob us of the happiness of living. I refuse to wallow in pain to make the beast happy. I know that my living bothers the beast. Too many women have died telling me to live for me not to live. Life is so precious, and until you have a brush of not having it you don't know what a blessing it is to live.

To feel the sun, the wind and watch the trees blown by the mighty wind. I don't have to spend money to live, I have to watch what I know is already there. My son mowing a lawn, when he would rather watch TV and lay down. My son picking up sticks one at a time, because he can and running two times is more fun than taking two sticks. Knowing that I made a perfect sandwich for my Hubby. The boys always beg me to make the sandwiches, because they taste better when I do. The joy of watching Pancho and Lefty run figure eights as fast as they can. Making the tea my family wants to drink, the coffee my son and Hubby never used to drink. The burgers that are lowfat and yet tasty. The drive down a farm road while watching for any critter to cross my path. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the fine cuts that attach to the bottom of my feet. God has blessed me in so many ways.

Cheryl was special. Cheryl fought the beast not once but twice, she never gave up. She continued to work until her body would not allow her to move. Her family was very emotionally and financially dependent on Cheryl. And for Cheryl it was a blessing, she was happy to be the supermom and breadwinner. She danced and laughed all the time. Her passing was not a surprise but every time a fellow warrior goes you keep thinking the beast will not be able to get to them.

Kathy was my breast cancer mentor. When I was first diagnosed, she got with me online and walked me through the process. God took Kathy January 2nd 2006. It was heart wrenching to watch her four kids without a mom that loved them so much. Her husband saw me, hugged me and I thought he could not let me go. I was in the middle of my recovery, and he was worried and happy to see me at the same time. Kathy was special to me, there are very few days I don't thank God he led her to me.

Even though I am sad, I refuse to let the beast ruin my day. Life is too short for me to spend time on the beast, I have living to do.

What Kathy and God first taught me is to live and love. What Cheryl taught me was to laugh through the treatment. My life is richer for having known them both. I would love to say they are the only women my journey of breast cancer has seen die, but there are so many I have known and prayed for to triumph over the Beast that are no longer here on earth.

Each time does make it easier what it does do is make me mad at the Beast, and make me what to stay a winner. I will do anything to stop the Beast. It is not my friend, I know it has weaknesses in our numbers of survivors. Every day I live the beast is a loser.

Dog Anxiety Progress

I may have come up with a short term solution. Lefty has to have something that smells like me. And not just something that sort of smells, it has to be a strong odor. I worked goats and chickens one day and wore a sweater over my shirt. It was stinky, I threw it on the bed and Lefty has laid on it every day since. I want to wash it but it will break his heart.

He still has to smell me when I come out of the shower or leave, but he is doing much better. He will go out and play for an hour with the yellow lab and forget about me. I actually miss him, I am so used to walking around a dog it is weird when I can walk normal now.

Funny Pancho has no thought of anxiety, he does get depressed though when Hubby leaves. Pancho prefers Hubby to work nights, that way he can sleep all day with Dad.

Lefty loves to sleep too but he can sleep on the kitchen floor as well as anyplace else. He is my constant shadow.

So while this is not perfect it is a better solution than Lefty grieving for me.

Debt Happens

Downsizing is a word almost overused today. I have downsized for years. My home is a 1400 sq ft home complete with three kids, a hubby, three dogs and me. 

My budget or lack there of is not about the size of our house, it is about the size of expenses. We did not get here overnight and it is going to take some time to get out of here. My little home is not spacious, when we first moved in I thought it was huge. We were first time buyers, and we left a very tiny rental house that was dilapidated when we arrived. That downsizing from my spacious one bedroom apartment in Valley Ranch was a true shock. Everything in Texas is bigger, and most apartments are roomy compared to other states. Valley Ranch was new and shiny and so was my apartment.

My transition to rural life was not easy, I was confused and longed for people and movement. Then the longer I was here the more I totally understood it. Life is not simple a simple life is a choice. It is a choice you make everyday, in the little ways. You choose to eat good whole vegetables fresh from the garden. There is nothing better than the first crop. 

I am humbled by knowing how hard life on the farm can be. We had our chickens processed, we did not do it. We paid a man to do it. My family drives tractors with diesel, my husband's grandfather drove a plow with a mule. I don't drive the tractor. That is another entry all together.

Our current financial struggle came slowly, while I wasn't looking. Farmers do feast or famine. We are rich or poor never in between. It is more like a gambling man's income than a salesman but they both have the same goals. You have to spend money to make money, and in the process sometimes you spend more than you make. A few tight months and you are struggling. 

As always I know we will perservere we always do. We will get a handle on this, hopefully this is our last visit in the absolute need to empty our lives of the stuff we own. The kids are great kids, they truly understand that being cheap doesn't mean poor. 

Since the day they were born everytime they would marvel at a nice new car I would tell them I love the car but I wouldn't want the car payment. Over two years ago we had no car payments, and had been car payment free for years. It was nice. Then we bought the one truck, at a very cheap price. Our plan was to pay it off, and finally buy my Hubby a newer commuter truck for his real job. Our plan was flawed in that my Hubby was in a wreck in November of 2007. His injuries were not severe but bad enough for him to be off of work for 6 weeks. Suddenly his income went way down. He had hopes of returning to work in 4 weeks, so we went and bought another used truck. It was more than either of us wanted to pay but the Toyota is a great truck. Our last one was still running great at 265,000 miles till the wreck.

Right before school started back up I had decided my life was too hectic, I was working almost 20 hours a week on a job that had started at 1-2 hours a week. When you homeschool, it takes real commitment. When I work I go 100%. TD is a senior, and W is in his last year of junior high. I wanted and needed more time with my kids. I was not cooking at all towards the end. We were eating fried chicken and pizza at least once a week. I felt like my kids, and my mom were at the bottom. Hubby has always been at the top of the list, but he was tired of trying to support me when I was gone so much. So I resigned as of September 1st. It was a great choice. The first thing I did was reintroduce real food back into our meals. I began baking, cooking and enjoying homeschooling again. For the first time in a year I felt like it was going to be okay. I had cut back enough to make it I thought. What I did not remember was my debt when I was busy working. When you are in a hurry to grab a lunch, drop off a kid, pick up papers, fax a report, wake up a Hubby you grab a card and charge it. It is fast, and you know that no matter what the checkbook says.

Then Hubby was in the wreck the first part of November. Well the fun was good while it lasted. Going back to work then was not possible. Hubby broke a rib, and tore his A/C. Apparently you need both of those to be mobile. He would get "stuck" at least 10 times a day. Like a turtle stuck, and then as with everything else in my life came a bucket of paperwork. He went on FMLA from the plant, but the farm had to continue. Since I don't drive the tractor, that meant the other two had to pitch in and become Dad. Then came the car expense right after Christmas. I had planned to cut back on Christmas anyway. This year I was down right cheap but people understood. 

We had a huge farm loan due the end of January, and with no crop money everything we had and didn't have went to that loan payment. 

It is truly a feast or famine lifestyle. I never knew how much until I married. But the gains I had made with my kids, and me are worth it ten fold. The kids work hard, play hard and truly funny deep down. Our life is a lot like Green Acres but really more like Still Standing. Our kids are not the NJS crowd, they are the kids wearing John Deere green and loving trucks. They have enough of me in them to be able to shop with the best of them, and enough of Hubby to go mudding with the best truck around.

See Debt really does happen.

Into Deep Frugality

We are now in the midst of deep frugality. I haven't made a real grocery store visit in over 3 weeks. We are still eating the chickens we showed last year, I bought 5 lbs of hamburger meat. So between the freezer and the cupboard I am into an 80/20 ratio of buying food. I cut my own hair, never thought that would happen but when times are tough a haircut is a luxury.

We are not behind on any of the utilities or mortgage. We pay our mortgage weekly and have for years. It is paid before we know it. That has helped us tremendously during our economic struggle. The other stuff is what I call extra right now, I have been negotiating with each company individually. I used to be a collector before marriage, honesty is what works best. That and small frequent payments make creditors happy.

Today I finally finish my taxes, then tomorrow I start selling everything I can on Ebay. This is the tough stuff, cutting back is the first step. Now comes the part of getting rid of things that are not important.

Life Goes On a Two Lane Road

I was born in San Angelo, Texas. It was at the time a small West Texas town. My parents were both raised in Dallas, TX. So Dallas is home no matter where we lived, so many of my family still live there. 

Dallas as well as San Angelo have grown by leaps and bounds since my leaving both of them. I left Dallas in 1988, I miss it a lot. My kids have grown up in a town with less than 6000 people in it. They feel great on small country roads, that is what they call the "open road". My open road is flying down  I35 70 MPH praying there is no traffic. When I drive in Dallas, I can weave in and out with the best of them. Here in town and the country I am slow and careful, two lane roads make me nervous. I want room to run away, I have no time to drive and look at the scenery. 

So as TD and I went on his first college trip I drove a two lane road for most of 3 hours. I did not think it was the best way, but after a quick call to a college father. I was convinced it was quick and easy. TD loved it, he said this was his way of driving, I was a wreck. There were times I thought the father was loving me driving that road. Getting there was the bad part for me.

Once we were there, TD didn't want to get out. Going to college with his mommy was not a fun day. He didn't really think he should get out at all, his nerves were going full force. Once we got out and he did paperwork he was better. He drove the whole way home confident that he liked what he saw (mainly girls driving trucks). I know he will be fine going there since he can drive the scenic drive in 3 hours. 

It was a day I know will be a milestone in his life. He was a little boy refusing to get out, and he became a kid wanting to go asking questions on his own. He made a point to get the information he wanted most. 

The first step is over, now if only he is accepted.

Spa Treatment in a Nap

On my frugal journey, I often think of things I would like to do. I have never been to a spa, although the idea of one is fascinating. In real life, if I had the kind of money I could not spend it on just me. So many people need things.

My forte is finding ways to feel special, just because you are frugal doesn't mean there is no wonderful treatment in your life. If you Google homemade spa treatments there are many out that are refreshing. I love to spend an evening doing a pedicure.

Tonight the family had a farm dinner that was for a group that we belong to. My day had been stressful and hectic, I was in the shower when I realized all I wanted was to stay home. The boys and DH wanted the BBQ dinner, and I didn't. I actually could care less, I wanted to relax. What cancer has taught me is to listen to your body at times of stress. I used to push myself to the point of becoming ill. But that was the LBC (life before Cancer) Kathy, now if I feel an urge I try to do it. Life is short, and pushing your body when it is tired only gets you ill.

I came out of the shower and told DH what I wanted to do. The beautiful thing about our marriage is we are both very different people, I know he likes to do things that bore me and visa versa. Instead of fighting it we embrace it, and the things we like to do together. He wanted to go no matter what, and I didn't. The boys wanted BBQ and off they went.

It was me and the dogs, with an evening of fun. I had thought maybe a facial was in order, but I never got that far. I laid down, turned on the tube and promptly fell asleep, the dogs had the same great idea. I woke up when the phone rang. I wish I had slept longer but still I felt so good.

When I was dealing with my cancer diagnosis that took what seemed like months I realized one thing about me. I sleep when I am stressed, other people might drink or smoke but me I sleep. During sleep the stress fades, and I wake up a new person. I had hoped I would be over my stress sleeping but it is back.

People pay a lot of money for what I find in a nap. I wish I could sell it!

Did You Say George Strait?

I am the conservative, it hasn't always been that way. But now it is. My oldest brother never talks politics unless it is about action of the military. And being employed by the military he speaks it in a such a way you don't really have a clue how he stands. He works for Democratic and Republican leaders, his job depends on him being military first and the other stuff unknown.

My other brother is basically a socialist, and yes he would definately say that. The democratic party is not left enough for him. He likes a society where everything is free and no one is rich. He can live on $30.00 for several weeks or less. He has an ability to do whatever he needs to get by.

Right now he is working at a marine boating supply store. He sells everything from a lure to a yacht. It is right up his alley. He is a salt water fly fishing expert, matter of fact he is an expert on fly fishing like few men can dream about. He does fly tie designs for Cabela's from time to time. His rods cost more than my car, he is serious about fly fishing. He has started to write articles for his fly fishing group and the store where he works. So when I say he is very focused you might get a sense of how he is. T-Ray as his friends call him is the funniest guy I know. I have watched comics for years, but no one is as funny as my brother. The party begins when T-Ray shows up. So sales is perfect for him. He is a concrete engineer's dream employee, but his bad back finally gave way for him to find this job.

So the family was at a Chinese buffet for Christmas, yes we do that. Because we all like a different things from time to time. My husband says, "Hey tell Kathy who you met the other day." I am thinking like Dat Nguyen because he works near his parent's restaurant. I was thinking someone bigger than Nolan Ryan (yeah he met him too). But nothing like what he said. He smiled at me, and said "Oh George Strait. Matter fact he wanted me to take him fishing I told him no." I was floored, I lost my breath. It was all I could do to utter words. So here is my brother's story. His boss brings in a man and a woman, and introduce T-Ray to them. They get to talking fly fishing. The wife wonders off to shop. They more they talk the more the man wants to know about T-Ray and his abilty to fish. He finally asks T-Ray if he would take him fishing. The answer was something I am sure George Strait has never heard before. "Well if I like ya." So my brother said he was pretty busy for a few days, and the next time they came in to ask again.

See my brother doesn't dislike George Strait, he had no idea who he was. Country music in not in my brother's playlist. When his coworkers told T-Ray who George was, T-Ray was laughing. And yes George has come in again, and T-Ray plans to take him fishing. All I asked for was a picture. What I would like is for my girlfriends Karen and Randy to go down and see the boat, the house, finally meet the wife up close. Karen and I spent many New Year's Eves with George, his wife and thousands of others. My brother never bought a CD, and they are buds! T-Ray is the life of the party in every way. He is a very smart, funny and incredibly talented brother. I say this because if he finds this blog I want him to know how special he is. That and perhaps a picture of George Strait and T-Ray will be enough for me.

This summer we are going down to Rockport and visit my brother. I am sure TD, W and S are going to try to get Uncle T-Ray to take them to see old George.

Paper plates and paper cups

I have no paper plates, I haven't bought any in months and months. I used to have them as a staple. I cook a lot and with 5 mouths to feed paper plates are easy or so it seemed. 

So one day I decided to cut myself off of paper plates. I bought some cheap plates at the dollar store, enough for everyone to eat three meals. That way even if I got busy we could eat food for one day before I was behind. I have no dishwasher, yes I know I live in the dark ages. We bought this house in the anticipation that the kitchen would be second maybe third on the redo list. Three kids later, it awaits to to be beautified. Even if it is, I doubt I would use a dishwasher except if we were sick or some company came. I am quick in and out now. Why I thought I was saving time and money I will never know. Paper plates can cost between 1.50 to 3.00 depending on the type you buy. The styrofoam are easier for you but not microwaveable and not a great choice on the enviroment.

I am not a green loving person but I do want my life to be basic and simple. There is nothing simple about styrofoam. So part of my frugal living journey was to buy the plates and then see if I could make it work. I started with just 5 plates, but with having kids my plates can get shoved under a bed for a day or two. 15 is doable, yes another cancer word.

So fastforward to the Valentine's party, see I don't have the extras at my house any more. So the idea was you bring food for snacks, plates for your family and drink cups for your family. Only problem is I have pottery plates, not exactly Valentine wear. I was not going to buy a set of paper plates for 2 people(S and me). So I stopped at McDonald's and got a couple of burgers, yes I know I broke a rule. Then I got some napkins and two drinks. Off we went to the party. So when that Big Red spilled out came my napkins. It was perfect! 

I felt bad at first when some of the girl families had the cute plates, but we have been there done that. I am beyond it. My napkins were very easy to clean up! They had a great time one person brought those tiny cans of Big Reds, the kids loved them. One person made a jello cake yummy. There were carrots and pretzels and cucumber sandwiches. It was a wonderful party. I brought a bunch of candy instead of cupcakes, because there were so many. Now I know how this group does it I will bring my cupcakes next time.

Working out and feeding chicks

This is hard to see, but S is doing pull-ups on the pen door. My kids do athletic tricks when they are bored. He was supposed to be working but S works a little plays a little quite often. Arnold is his hero, and he always wants to be fit.

Levi and the Home Place

This is Levi, my great nephew at the original farm. As you look out that land is where my FIL was born. Levi is a typical active boy, I think he is a hoot. Several people in my family give Levi a hard time but to me he is just like his mom. His mom was a real firecracker growing up, and he with is dark brown hair is her made over. Either a minute before this or a minute after this Levi was crying that everyone else got too many eggs. This is the things I love most about being with family, Levi and watching him run around on land that was in his family for 4 generations.

I am very busy

W was shoveling shavings, it is what we over and over again. He actually likes this part of it. He does the shavings, I do the feed and S does the water. When you pitch in it goes so much faster.

See I Told You So

This is S doing the water too. One minute they are clowning around the next they are working.

Yes I Am Working

Here is W with the waterer. He is looking at me like I should take his picture. I was taking pictures for a 4 H record book, he is supposed to look like he is working but with W you get a smile more often than a serious look.

Look at Me I am Bigger

This is the chicks at 5 days old. They are up drinking and eating everything in site. They are cheeping when we take out the feeders and waterers because they are hungry. They still huddle some, but they run around a lot more now. If you look very closely they have one new actual feather, the rest is just down.

Valentine's Day Party

Tomorrow is our homeschooling co-op party. We all get our kids together and it gives them the socialization they miss not being in school. It will be a big party with over 30 kids. Kids are kids, and if you get a bunch of homeschooling kids together they get high on sugar just like the public schooled kids. My son has been very social, he does not lack in that department.

I am making cupcakes, and hopefully the kids will like them. I am using real eggs and oil, a treat my real family rarely enjoys. But it is a party, and it must be celebrated in full fashion. I have to find a shoebox to decorate, which is not easy because those are filled with legos, don't ask but my son has his legos organized.

The thing that bothers him the most about the chickens is the total lack of organization. Cows and goats pee and poop where they should, chickens poop in their feed.

There are days that I get very frustrated with S, because as most kids think they really don't like school, and homeschooling is still school. Reading is his least favorite subject, actually reading doesn't bother him it is the reading comprehension that he must do.

Today I told S that an old public school friend's mom was killed in a car accident. I can not imagine S having to endure the pain that would cause. I am sure many people think S is clingy but he is truly not. Matter of fact when we are together, we have our way of being alone together. He is pretty independent and has his own agenda of fun. But his friend was clingy to his mom. We saw them about 2 months ago, and he was still pulling on her hand. I don't know when the last time S pulled at me like that.

I know she told me she wished R could be homeschooled, I know he is hurting tonight.

Pizza Hut Pizza

Monday night was a very unusual night. We actually ate Pizza Hut pizza. Mainly because when I ca